What up, bitches? This is Jake. I’m not gonna die. So, the only reason I can think that you’re even WATCHING this is because you snuck into Noah’s files, cause you were thirsty for an extra taste of this rock-hard, grade A man meat. But sorry ladies, this ladies man is…a lady’s man. Miss Brooke Maddox. Take that, Mr. B! Took 16 years of friendship foreplay–some shady tactics–but we’re here now. And if I do die… I hope you live.

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