I was tired. I had trouble sleeping, the summer light blinding me awake at ungodly hours of the morning. I laid in bed at night with my mind racing. I was not okay. I hit some lows. I was jealous and insecure. Things weren't right. I cried for weeks after the Orlando shooting. A professor of mine that had been fighting cancer passed, and I paced around the empty office weeping the evening I found out. I was both needy and antisocial. I felt overstimulated by standard music so I listened to ambient like Aphex Twin, but I was also getting into Death Grips which was exhausting. It's like how I returned to /b/ for "realness" but it's caustic and depressing. But how I craved it! The colorful Kero Kero Bonito, dancing, and Pride fest were some of the few things that gave me life this month.

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